Whether it’s a group that meets occasionally to play boardgames or a weekly RPG group, bringing together the right players typically proves to be the most difficult part of the entire experience. If personalities clash, schedules refuse to align or for any number of reasons, a group can end before it finds its groove. If you’re just starting out or planning on diving back in, here are some tips for finding the right combination of players.
Personalities
You may have friends from different walks of life, so why not get them together to play your favorite game on a weekly basis? There’s nothing wrong with the idea but look closely at each of your friends. You may be best friends with Susie and Sam but if they oppose each other on the hot button topics of religion or politics, you could run into trouble. Susie and Sam could be the two most competitive people you’ve ever met. Basically, look for potential personality clashes. Beware the friend with an annoying habit. You may be able to live with it or even find it endearing. Others may not. I once heard of a guy who, upon hearing a story, would always “one up” the teller by recounting how the same thing had happened to him for better or worse in Seattle.
“Man, I got a flat tire today on the interstate.”
“Oh yeah, well when I lived in Seattle, I got a flat tire on the way home from having that same tire replaced after I was abducted by aliens.”
With that said, even what you or others perceive as potential personality conflicts may never come to fruition if your friends are all kind and open-minded. All it takes is one jerk to bring the whole group down. Sure they’re your best friend but if you want to play with more than just that one person, your best friend may have to sit out a game or two.
Schedules and Stage of Life
Schedule conflicts have brought game groups to a halt before personality conflicts emerged. If you and your group of friends are currently in the “Parenting” life stage, then other people’s schedules will limit your own. Whereas, if you’re in college (contrary to what it feels like during mid-terms and finals), you only have your schedule and can be flexible with your time. Teens may find their schedules limited during the week due to homework and other extracurricular activities. Coordinating schedules is the bane of our busy lives. Just trying to schedule a time for my son to hang out with his buddy, was like a G8 Summit negotiation. So be kind and ready yourself for the possibility that getting together this particular group of people at this particular time just isn’t going to happen. Many a game group has ceased to exist once Thanksgiving hit. People get busy and other priorities can take precedence. Just try re-coordinating schedules in January. You may find that your friend no longer has that twice a week evening class any more and can finally join your group.
Location
When choosing players, consider where you’re going to play and if certain locations will not work for individuals. If your friend is a single Dad, they may not be able to play at your home because their toddler could break, or give themselves a concussion on, any number of fine furniture pieces you have. Perhaps a player has pets, and yet another player has a severe allergy to cats or dogs. Unless the group is going to fund their Benadryl supply, you may want to find another location. Keep in mind your friends with sensory issues (they are numerous in the gaming community). They may not handle gaming in a gaming store or homes with lots of activity. Not being able to find a location that works has, like schedule conflicts, ended a gaming group before their first skill check.
All of these are pretty straightforward things to consider, and probably ones you’ve already pondered. But as I say to my kids, “Be mindful.” Bringing together the right group in the right place, at the right time, takes insight and care. These people are your friends after all, or soon will be, so be mindful of their feelings and needs. If you do so, you’ll set a great tone for your group that will help it survive any hiccups along the way.
Stephanie Hawver
Latest posts by Stephanie Hawver (see all)
- Ask a Gamer- Concocting Your Gaming Group - January 15, 2016
