Everyone hates to lose, but no one hates to lose more than a child. They want to be the best. Win the prize. Feel good about themselves. So how do you teach a child to love the game despite the occasional loss?
Simply put?
Have the child lose. And lose a lot.
Now, I’m not saying you rig the game to make the child lose. I’m saying don’t pull your punches. Play games they can cognitively understand and play them well and often.
I remember when I learned Chess. I was excited. It seemed like the ultimate battle of wits. Such a “grown up” game that I could finally understand. I eagerly challenged my Dad to a game much like Luke challenged Vader in “Empire Strikes Back.” Luckily, I just lost the game. And I lost again. And again. Actually, I don’t know how often I lost at Chess to my Dad. All I know is – I have yet to win.
Then there was the evening when I was 8 years old. My Dad and some friends let me play Monopoly with them. I was so proud when It just came down to my Dad and I. Of course, he bankrupted me quickly. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure my limited success was due to any strategy on my part. The others may have taken pity on me and left me alone.
Then there’s the multitude of games I played with my first childhood friend – Kristy. Kristy was an only child and I often went to her house where we played games like Checkers and Uno. Very basic games. Even 30 years later, I remember sitting on her screened-in back porch and getting trounced at Checkers. We’re talking double and triple jumps, people. Brutal.
I’m sure there was some whining on my part, but not much. Because I had learned quickly that if I was a sore loser, no one would want to play with me. Since I seemed to lose games often, I had to find my enjoyment elsewhere. I learned to enjoy the game more than the outcome. Gaming became the way to enjoy spending time with friends and family with the outcome secondary.
By the time I had reached my late childhood, I would play “Life” with siblings and cousins. This is a great game to teach kids how to have fun and not focus on the end result. Honestly, we were more concerned about having as many peg kids as possible. We took great pride when we’d have to stack up the peg kids or have another car to tag along. Bonuses for both.
No game is better at teaching kids to love playing even if they lose than the cooperative game. Not only do they feel “grown up” since you’re working together, they also have you to look toward as an example when the game wins. Your consistent behavior will be what they remember as they grow.
Boardgames are a fantastic way to spend quality time together. Somehow through the process you learn so many life lessons – such as how to lose and win gracefully, and most importantly, what truly matters – time with family and friends.
Stephanie Hawver
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